Tuesday, August 27, 2013

"For years I was embarrassed to speak Chinese in public. It might be urbane for Kevin Rudd, but..."

"

For years I was embarrassed to speak Chinese in public. It might be urbane for Kevin Rudd, but people might think I couldn?t speak English. Like many non-Indigenous people of colour, I used language to legitimise my presence in this country. I offered my Australian accent like an excuse for my face. The accent is crucial; more important than any other measure of linguistic competence, it offers immediate protection.

Now I work in a call centre. No name, no face. Customers hear my accent and confide their relief that they haven?t got someone in India, the Philippines. I tell them, shaking, that I can end the call if they feel the need to be racist. I want to say, ?This is China speaking, she just sounds like you now.?

"

- Juliana Qian [x]

This is so?relevant?to my life - for years I used my English accent as a way to prove that I had a right to live here & I wasn?t any less an ?authentic? Brit (what does that even mean anyway?) and I thought that my ?perfect? accent could trump all the aspects of myself that defined me as Other (my skin, my hijab etc.). I always felt like I had to constantly prove that I belonged here and my accent was my way of showing that I was just like any other Brit. Don?t look at my face! Ignore my name! Ignore my history and my family?s history! Listen to my voice and you?ll hear that I?m just like you!?

I don?t blame 16 yr old me for trying so hard to fit in but if I could I?d tell her that her accent meant nothing - it didn?t override the fact that her family started life in the UK as refugees fleeing war or that the immigrants discussed in the newspapers as ?taking over the country? included her own family or that the hijab on her head (and on her mother?s head and her sisters? heads too) meant others would impose their own definitions on her (?oppressed?, ?terrorist?, ?uncultured?).?

There have been so many times when I have spoken to someone on the phone and then, once I met them, seen the look of surprise on their face that I am not white. Maybe next time I will say: ?This is Somalia speaking, she just sounds like you now?.

(via abstractverses)

For a decade, the way I spoke Swedish was my way of saying ?Please, don?t see me as garbage because I migrated to your country and I live in the hood. I too am Swedish. Please?. I started neglecting my heritage, I grew ashamed of my mother tongue and I tried to sound as ?Swedish? as possible but the color of my skin hindered Swedes from perceiving me as Swedish. I was an immigrant and this pained me. At times, there would be Swedish teachers asking me if I was half Swedish, because they were surprised that I was fluent in the language and I let their ignorance turn into compliments. I remember once, I visited my friend who lives in a very rich area in Stockholm. Her Swedish friends were stunned when they noticed how ?civilized? I was and how good my Swedish was. They said ?You are not at all like them?. It was then I started to realize what pain I had caused upon myself and that my pain was caused by people like them. Today, I only have these words to say, ?This is Bangladesh speaking, she just sounds like you now?.?

- Yazmine

(via angryasiangirlsunited)

(via thechocolatebrigade)

Source: http://chippabomb.tumblr.com/post/59375862121

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