Not a SM YET, but don't think for one second that means I ... - Step Talk

I've got some crap on here for not being a SM, it seems to be a never ending battle.
And well lots on here have made personal jabs at the few of us who are live-ins without the title of "STEP"

I just want to share my background, because although I am not "SM" I have more than lived it-and still turned out ok.
I'm not claiming to be an expert but living it all around me and seeing how things were handled is different than just getting plopped into it.

My father was a step father. My mother was a step mother.
And all 5 of my siblings are steps to each other and halfs to me, but none of us all each other that even after our parents divorced.
My father was married twice before and brought in two girls from one BM and a boy from another BM.
My mother was also married twice before and brought two girls from one BF with a shitty ex we dealt with from her second marriage.
After they were married a few years they had me-not planned.

I grew up in a house where my fathers kids were carted away every few weeks to opposite ends of the country and my mother's two daughters cried over the phone to their dad "why can't we come see you, don't you love us?"

My parent's were not Greg and Carol Brady. They yelled at each other in front of us on occasion, they punished each others kids-sometimes unfairly, but they ALWAYS, ALWAYS encouraged us that WE were a family.

And all of us, now grown, still consider us ALL to be siblings. My two sisters and brother from my dad still introduce my mother's daughters as their sisters and likewise,--even though they look nothing alike!

My dad's kids called my mom by her name, and to me and my other sisters they said, "your mom". My mom's daughters called my dad his first name, and to me and my brother and sisters, they said "your dad"

And then you throw into it that one of my sisters from my mom is mentally challenged, it makes it even more remarkable to me now-grown-that my dad's kids wanted anything to do with a "step"sister who has mental deficiencies.

And of course, growing up all the kids pointed at me that I was the favorite, that I was getting special treatments-HOWEVER- by the time I was in high school, and they were all in their late 20's to early 30's they all told me they realized as soon as they moved out of the house that it was only money being more abundant when I was growing up compared to when they were growing up that gave them this unfair thought.

My younger sister from my father's side just got married, all all of her sisters were her bridesmaids, me, and my three other sisters-we flew in to do it.

My sister with mental handicaps went missing a few years ago, and my brother flew in from a job on the west coast to help look for her.

Both of my sisters on my mom's side married men who already had kids from another marriage, and one of my sisters on my dad's side did too.

I would never call my upbringing perfect, and my parents did not do everything like they should have, but all 6 of us turned out ok. We don't have any deep feelings of hate towards each other or the other parent.

So, no I am not a "stepmom" but I've lived through this stuff and have a front row seat in my own family.
I'm not entering this relationship with my boyfriend blindly, I know it will not be rainbows and butterflies, I know it will be work... But I know there is hope it will turn out ok. When everyone works towards the same goal, sooneror later you get there.

Source: http://www.steptalk.org/node/166026

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